Matt Murdock (
aworldonfire) wrote2015-12-05 03:01 pm
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rp | all the hurt that brought me here
It's a miracle, he thinks, that he got away from Nobu, from Fisk. It's a miracle that he made it back to his apartment, as beaten as he is. It's a miracle, but singing the praises of God doesn't follow him much past the door, not because he doesn't want to but because, while he's still alive, still fighting, he's rapidly devolving into hysterical thought thanks to the blood loss, and what he's stricken by, standing in the doorway of the rooftop access, is that he remembers what red looks like, would swear he could see it.
It's in the taste of his own blood in his mouth, after all, the wash of pain in his stomach and chest that rushes over him whenever he draws breath, the smell of metal (not his own, not copper, so much blood, oh, God), clinging to his wounds, where he was stabbed again and again and again. It all permeates as much as Clint's cover's body spray did, the red, making it hard to think, hard to see beyond his absent sight, and he takes a drunken step forward, presses his fingers to the wall that runs alongside the steps that come down into his apartment, hoping it will help, praying for a touchstone. He makes it down a handful of stairs, something like wild optimism rising in his chest, alongside the pain (he can make it, if he can just make it to the phone, make it to Claire), before it all goes to hell.
His foot catches on something, something likely broken by him, by Stick, less than a handful of days ago, and he trips. He hits the remaining steps face-first, so fast it takes him a moment to register what just happened, to grunt, no more winded that he already was (is his lung punctured? he can't tell. it hurts. father forgive him -- both of them), and try to sit up. All he manages is to slide the rest of the way down the steps to the ground and for black to join the red, a memory of tunnel vision closing in on the edges of his mind's eye, as what little he can get from his other senses slips, stutters, unconsciousness creeping up on him. He doesn't try to get up again, after that, just lays there, panting. He doesn't even hear the door opening again above him, practically miles away.
He doesn't know how many minutes pass, him laying there, but eventually and what seems to him suddenly, something occurs to him. He shifts again, not trying to get up this time but to press his shaking fingers to the comm at his ear, always worn, just in case, but rarely used outside of his team ups with Clint and Natasha. It takes him three tries to actually get there, actually find his ear, and when he manages, it takes a moment more of false starts to fight past the black and find the breath for his words. It never occurs to him to think that the Avengers, if they're listening, already know what's going on, if only to a certain degree, that the comms are always transmitting, always receiving, that help may already be on the way.
"Little -- little help here?" he chokes out. "I need help. Please."
The red and black catch up to him, after that, as relentless as he's ever been in the same colors, and he slips into something like twilight.
It's in the taste of his own blood in his mouth, after all, the wash of pain in his stomach and chest that rushes over him whenever he draws breath, the smell of metal (not his own, not copper, so much blood, oh, God), clinging to his wounds, where he was stabbed again and again and again. It all permeates as much as Clint's cover's body spray did, the red, making it hard to think, hard to see beyond his absent sight, and he takes a drunken step forward, presses his fingers to the wall that runs alongside the steps that come down into his apartment, hoping it will help, praying for a touchstone. He makes it down a handful of stairs, something like wild optimism rising in his chest, alongside the pain (he can make it, if he can just make it to the phone, make it to Claire), before it all goes to hell.
His foot catches on something, something likely broken by him, by Stick, less than a handful of days ago, and he trips. He hits the remaining steps face-first, so fast it takes him a moment to register what just happened, to grunt, no more winded that he already was (is his lung punctured? he can't tell. it hurts. father forgive him -- both of them), and try to sit up. All he manages is to slide the rest of the way down the steps to the ground and for black to join the red, a memory of tunnel vision closing in on the edges of his mind's eye, as what little he can get from his other senses slips, stutters, unconsciousness creeping up on him. He doesn't try to get up again, after that, just lays there, panting. He doesn't even hear the door opening again above him, practically miles away.
He doesn't know how many minutes pass, him laying there, but eventually and what seems to him suddenly, something occurs to him. He shifts again, not trying to get up this time but to press his shaking fingers to the comm at his ear, always worn, just in case, but rarely used outside of his team ups with Clint and Natasha. It takes him three tries to actually get there, actually find his ear, and when he manages, it takes a moment more of false starts to fight past the black and find the breath for his words. It never occurs to him to think that the Avengers, if they're listening, already know what's going on, if only to a certain degree, that the comms are always transmitting, always receiving, that help may already be on the way.
"Little -- little help here?" he chokes out. "I need help. Please."
The red and black catch up to him, after that, as relentless as he's ever been in the same colors, and he slips into something like twilight.
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"Thanks," Tony returns with a grin. "If I'd noticed the time it would have been the Stones." "Sympathy for the Devil", because Tony is hilarious, at least in his own mind.
"And thanks for coming all the way over here," he adds as he sets down his soldering iron, pushing himself up off his stool to round the table, to actually give Matt his attention, and the music volume fades farther.
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A beat, in which he sobers, and then, "And yeah, no problem. It's -- well, I think if I had to stare at the ceiling for much longer, I would've gone nuts." Figuratively speaking, in the former case, of course, what with, you know, not actually being able to see.
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"Your partners still convinced you'll die on them after all?"
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Not true, maybe, but it's his way of saying that, yes, they are still keeping an eye on him. They may not be convinced he's going to die anymore, but they both seem to be under the impression that he's going to do another Stupid Thing sooner rather than later, regardless of whether or not that means chasing down more ninjas or getting hit by another phantom car. He really can't blame either of them, and he does appreciate the concern, even if he was getting stir crazy.
"Speaking of, though," Matt continues, thinking of the both of them now, "you got a minute before you presumably read me the riot act? I need to ask a favor." A beat. "A couple, actually."
As much as he hates to have to.
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He really doesn't mind doing favors for people - or, well. Favors for people he likes, anyway.
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That in mind, he steels his jaw, pushing away the concern, and shakes his head faintly, for his own benefit. When he seems steadier, he starts, "Foggy was there, the night I got my ass handed to me. He knows who Daredevil is, under the mask, and that's ... it's fine." It is and it isn't, but what he's getting at is that he's not building up to asking Tony to find a way to wipe his memories or something. As a sort of afterthought and with a wry smile, he adds, "That conversation went a lot better than I was expecting," to drive that point home.
A pause follows, not to gather his words so much as give Tony time to absorb that, and then he continues, "Thing is, now he wants some assurances that he's not going to come to my apartment, some night, and find me bleeding out again. I don't fault him that, I just -- giving him the number for the burner phone I carry around isn't really an option, and letting him know when I'm going out isn't good enough for either of us. Too much can change, too quick, in the case of the latter, and if Foggy calls to check in at the wrong time, in the former ... "
He shakes his head again. "I thought you might have some ideas as to how to keep him in the loop."
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The Boy Scout thing might not be as much of a thing as people think, but he does make a good character witness.
Tony shifts, tilting his head a little, already frowning thoughtfully as he realizes what Matt's asking. "Right," he agrees, because he definitely knows the part about things changing in a hurry. It's not really a difficult problem to solve, though, considering what he already has going on.
"How would you feel about having a little more Big Brother in your life?"
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He gets that JARVIS will be involved somehow, but while Tony may have an idea, he's a little in the dark, here. Computers, understandably, have never really been his strong suit.
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He sobers a little a moment later. "I'll come up with details, but. It wouldn't be a bad idea to get Nelson and your secretary in JARVIS's loop. He listens to most of the phone calls that go in and out of here, which is creepy, I have been told, but he knows what's going on, too, if anything needs somebody to get extra nosy."
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Either way, he nods. "I'll probably catch hell, if I don't run it by him first, but ... come up with the details. I'll talk to Foggy in the meantime." He's pretty sure he can sell Foggy on it in fairly short order. If he can talk him out of bagels at Landman and Zack, this should be no problem.
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JARVIS is already paying more attention to Matt, actually, considering what happened with Nobu. Tony's pretty sure he actually feels bad about it, but he's not sure telling Matt that wouldn't just make him feel guilty.
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"I just want to make sure he does. He knows you're one of the good guys, yeah, but ... " Well. Foggy's still sort of struggling with media perceptions, right now, thanks to him.
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He makes a face. "You didn't come here for sharing time. We'll see what we can do about Foggy."
He might be better about discussing feelings, but that doesn't mean he's completely comfortable with it.
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That in mind, he nods, letting it go, and murmurs a thanks in return. That said, he pauses for a moment, trying once again to swallow his pride, as Tony's left him with an opening, now. When he manages, he raises his head from where he'd bowed it, and starts, "Speaking of. I need a suit."
A beat. "And I'm not talking Armani."
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The table finishes powering up, and a moment later, a small figure loads. Tony gestures, and it grows in size. It also has depth enough that Matt should be able to perceive it.
"I stuck with the motif you've had going. It's not exactly subtle, I know, but I don't think you really need subtle with what you're getting into. And it should fit, because the creepy part is where I had JARVIS scan you. But you're welcome to try it on while you're here in case I need to take anything in."
Or, rather, if JARVIS needs to adjust anything and re-fabricate it.
That all said, Tony turns away, leaving Matt to study and comment on the hologram, if he wants, to head for a cabinet on the other side of the room, where he picks up some folded red and black cloth. He didn't remake the cowl, since, as far as he knows, Matt's current one is still holdng up, and the boots Matt's been using seem to be holding up, so it's just the suit itself.
Tony brings it back to the normal table by the holographic one, shaking it out to lay it flat. Clearly, as usual, Tony's been ahead of things again.
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It probably should be creepy, but he has to admit, it's nice, not having to wait for Tony to come up with something and put it together. Add in the fact that he's not particularly surprised, given what he knows JARVIS is capable of, and it turns out it's not so creepy, after all. The commentary, that in mind, is mostly a joke. Not that he clarifies that, instead, following Tony over to the table, where, yes, he remains even when Tony wanders off again.
When he returns, about the time Matt had had his fill inspecting the hologram, he glances back at him, watching as he lays the suit out on the table. He nods to it, as he turns, heading for it and Tony. "I'm guessing that's it?"
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Shaking his head faintly, he tucks his cane under one arm and reaches for one hand with the other, reflexively. He aborts the gesture midway, when he realizes what he's doing, reaching to take off the gloves he wears as Daredevil but isn't wearing now, so he can feel the suit. Well. At least everyone knows where his head is, right now. A vaguely embarrassed smile follows as he finds the edge of the table, the suit itself, with his fingers, finally.
"It's good," he decides when he finally takes his hand back. "Feels light."
A beat. "One question, though." And another. "What color is it?"
He doesn't think Tony would set him up with something that's, say, neon green -- that's not why he asks. It's more that he picked the reds and blacks of the makeshift suit he was wearing for nostalgic reasons and he's hoping Tony kept the color scheme. He'll only be vaguely disappointed if he didn't. Not nearly bleeding to death is more important than keeping to the colors his father wore in the ring, he figures.
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He doesn't comment on Matt's goof, either, just watching, waiting for Matt's reaction. He might have confidence in what he does, but getting other people's approval is nice, too.
"Bright yellow," he returns evenly - but doesn't let the joke go for more than a couple seconds before he actually answers. "Black and red, same as your hood. Romanoff says you owe her a quarter for the color scheme, by the way."
The question's out there if Tony knows what colors Jack Murdock wore and if he took that into consideration - but he'll probably never answer it. It was easy enough to go black and red for Matt's gear, considering he works at night and considering his press given name and his more recent, shorter codename.
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When he finally gives an honest answer, Matt looks away, nodding. He can't help but smile, amused, as he continues. "Pretty sure someone else had it before her, so unless she's planning on paying them royalties, too ... " Natasha won't be seeing a dime from him. Or maybe she will. It depends on how much of a smart ass he feels like being, next time he sees her.
Either way, he pauses again, briefly, before, more seriously starting, "Should I try it on?"
It's going to look ridiculous, with his Oxfords, without the cowl, but they should probably check to make sure it does, in fact, fit. The question has nothing to do with him actually wanting to put it on. No. Not at all.
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"And you should definitely try it on. I want to see if it looks as awesome on you as it did on the virtual you."
He'll just say it for you, Matt, it's okay.
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It's debatable as to whether or not that's sarcasm or the opposite of and he doesn't clarify, either way. Instead, he shifts to set his cane down, freeing up both hands to start gathering the suit into his arms. "Got somewhere I can change in here?"
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